Overcoming the fear of change and loss

One thing that often gets missed, in all the drama around the changes I have gone through in the last three years, is the immense sadness and pain that the ending of my marriage has caused me. Yes, I chose to do it and, yes, I needed to, for all sorts of complex and very […]

Affairs, desire and conscious relationships

I recently had a wonderful conversation with writer and traveller, Christine Wild, about desire and conscious relationships, here are some additional words and thoughts on the topic. The podcast is here. Adultery. Affairs. The most ancient of sins and yet ones that are still very much present with us today, made even easier with apps and […]

How being “selfish” made me a better parent

One of the most common accusations I have had levelled at me since I came out about my open marriage, subsequent separation and now polyamorous lifestyle is that I was the epitome of selfishness. I promise you that no one has thought that about me more then I have. The question I asked myself, before […]

Change and acceptance

Everything is always changing so nothing can be yours – Shunryu Suzuki I love the sense of calm that this line induces in me but I would be lying if I said I had always had an easy relationship with change. When our belief systems are challenged by our feelings or by events, we can […]

On change and loss

Radical relationships understand the constant presence of change. It is this, the immediate and obvious presence of, not just others, but the end (and not end as in and they lived happily ever after but the end as in: this will change) that differentiates them so significantly from monogamous relationships. Change is one issue which the non-monogamy community discusses […]